I feel the rip–
all raw edges and ragged bits
of impossibility,
tucked somewhere inside
my gut.
The pain should be enough
to keep me
from the knife,
but the cut is an addiction
all its own.
Soon I will be ribbons;
just fluttering red strips
of my soul
in the wind.
Still,
fate isn’t easily resisted,
and I fly
towards my own destruction
aware.
3-19-20
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